Pour 1 Out: David Stern

Warning: Adult themes and language

There is one reason I am pouring one out for the recently departed David Stern, former commissioner of the NBA.

I met Dvaid Stern when I was 12 years old. I was at the Indianapolis NBA draft when Glenn Robinson went number one overall. It was so cool for me as a kid in Indy that day. All the draftees were walking around and hanging out with us fans. I remember vividly getting to watch Grant Hill play NBA JAM at the arcade. Jason Kidd fooled my friends and I told us his driver was "Jason Kidd." We didn't know what he looked like at the time. We never saw California play on TV in the 90s. Damon Bailey, IU great and late 2nd rounder, was Indy's fan favorite. No one could find him that day. He was in hiding.

NBA Inside stuff with Willow Bay and Ahmad Rashad were hosting a basketball obstacle course just outside the arena. If you had a time on ther course that was top 10 of the day, they wrote your name on a plackard and posted the times on a big board facing the obstacle course's stands. My friends and I were some of the first fans that got to run thru the course. I got the top time out of all of my friends and got to have my name exsist on the top 10 leaderboard.

When the lackey running the obstacle course asked for my name to be displayed on the leaderboard, I thought it would be funny to tell him that my name was "Seimore Butz." (See more butts, get it) You have to understand, this was when Beavis and Butthead were the funniest thing in America. This was just one of their jokes recycled. The NBA thought nothing of it and put it up on the leaderboard. At the end of the day, we went back to see if I was still in the top 10. I was, but they were throwing away all the names as they were tearing everything down. I asked, "Can you find the Seimore Butz one?" They did!

Just as I got excited about pulling off this gag, a bunch of guys in suits started walking my way. My friend's dad knew who it was. "It's the boss of the NBA" he told us. David Stern was walking right towards us. That day, if anyone that was famous was walking your way you handed them something to sign. In my hands at the moment was my name plackard from the obstacle course, "Seimore Butz." I instinctively handed it to Mr. Stern to sign. He stopped and read my name carefully.

"Seimore Butz huh? I know your parents really didn't name you this," he said. I was so estatic. He got the joke. He thought it was funny. He signed it, knowing it was a gag. From that day on, I always thought David Stern is way cooler than people really know.

I wish I could say I still have the "Seimore Butz" name plackard. Unfortunately, my mom found it and thought it was ridiculous. She threw it in the garbage. She didn't know David Stern had signed it. She didn't know who David Stern was.

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